What is a Hopeless Romantic? Signs & Solutions

Is it OK to be a hopeless romantic?
on February 14, 2024
Read time: 10 mins

Love at first sight, Prince Charmings galore, and the prospect of skipping into the sunset with your true love. Maybe being a hopeless romantic doesn’t sound so bad.

While the daydream land of love is a very sweet, sugary, and sexy place — it can be quite a harsh snap back to the reality of real relationships. 

Being a hopeless romantic sounds sweet in theory, but these romantic ideals can leave you in a lot of sticky situations. As you live a life in pursuit of your ultimate love story, it can result in heartbreaks, tears, and a lot fewer romantic montages than you accounted for. 

With all of these considerations, we like the sound of being a hopeful romantic… rather than a hopeless one. 

Key Takeaways
  • Hopeless romantic meanings vary, with some equally positive and negative connotations associated with this definition. Usually, hopeless romantics are considered individuals who believe deeply in the power of love, often holding idealized and sometimes unrealistic expectations about romantic relationships.
  • While the concept of being a hopeless romantic is viewed positively for its optimism and deep-seated belief in love, it can also lead to challenges. This includes potential heartbreaks, tears, and the realization that real relationships often don't match up to the fantasies depicted in romantic comedies and fairytales.
  • Despite the pitfalls, being a hopeless romantic is not all doom and gloom. It centers on steadfast optimism and prioritizing emotional connection and meaningful experiences, which can enrich relationships.
  • Key indicators include falling for someone quickly, idealizing fairy tale concepts of love, daydreaming about love excessively, and showing a tendency towards co-dependency in relationships.

What is a hopeless romantic? 

Hopeless romantics believe in the power of love and think that the probability of finding their soulmate is quite high! These individuals believe in an idealized version of romance, developing often unrealistic expectations about romantic relationships. 

This perspective on love emphasizes intense emotions, grand gestures, and a belief that true love can conquer all. If you’re a hopeless romantic, you might be obsessed with rom-coms and the ideals you put forth — believing that these fairytale notions can be a part of your reality! 

What does it mean to be a hopeless romantic? 

Contrary to the negative connotations associated with being a hopeless romantic, this label doesn't have to imply that one is doomed to disappointment or failure in love! 

In the spirit of the romantics, it’s important to look at the positives of being a hopeless romantic — as we certainly don’t intend to turn our backs on love. 

Hopeless romanticism centers around steadfast optimism, with these romantics having a deep-seated belief in the enduring power of love, even in the face of challenges or societal cynicism. Hopeless romantics prioritize emotional connection and meaningful experiences in relationships, valuing the idea of love as an ultimate fulfillment.

Even though this concept is very romantic and sweet, it can ultimately lead to several issues. While we all want our fairytale ending, holding out for this fantasy can deprive you of a real romantic relationship — as hopeless romantics are seeking a kind of perfection that is unfortunately unattainable. 

What are the signs that you might be a hopeless romantic?

Being in love doesn’t automatically make you a hopeless romantic, nor does wanting to find your happily ever after with the perfect partner.

The key thing about being a hopeless romantic lies in the ‘hopeless’ aspect of the definition — namely that you jeopardize everything else in the name of love, with usually disastrous consequences. 

So, do you fit into this category? If you spot yourself in these signs… you might be on the wrong side of this romantic story. 

Signs that you’re a hopeless romantic

Fall for someone hard and fast: When you meet someone new, it can feel all-consuming, as you experience complete infatuation with this person. From the first date onwards, you throw yourself into the relationship — falling for someone really quickly… and often to your detriment.
Fairytale concept of love: After spending so much time soaking in romantic movies, these idealistic views start to impact your concept of love. So when you’re focused on finding someone, you're looking for a prince charming, side-stepping real love or potential partners because you’ve set such high standards.
Daydreaming: Everyone daydreams about their wedding day, or spends time dreaming about their happy ending. However, hopeless romantics spend so much time dreaming about their love lives that it inhibits their ability to find a long-term relationship that lasts.
One-sided relationships: Since hopeless romantics can be so consumed with the idea of romantic love, it can lead to very one-sided relationships. While they are pouring all their energy and attention into one person, they may not be getting this kind of affection or love in return.
Rose-colored glasses: As eternal optimists, hopeless romantics are inherently skilled at ignoring red flags or warning signs in relationships. On their quest for the perfect relationship, they might be more willing to ignore their partner's faults — or genuinely might be so caught up in fantasy, that they can’t see the reality.
Obsessed with romance: As you want your fairytale ending, you may have some very high standards and expectations around romance. This can put a lot of pressure on your loved one — as they can never live up to what you expect from love!
Think with the heart, not the head: While some people are led by their heads, hopeless romantics are 100% led by their hearts! Even if it may not be the logical decision to stay with someone — their factory settings override all of these fears without even thinking!
Idealization: When you’re hopelessly head over heels for someone, you expect an idealized version of a relationship, rather than one that exists in reality. This kind of idealization can leave you feeling heartbroken and consistently disappointed as reality never lives up to your expectations.
De-prioritize your needs: In the name of love, you can start to prioritize your relationship over everything else in your life — including your own needs.
Co-dependent tendencies: Is your friend so caught up in their relationship that they have totally thrown your friendship to one side? If a hopeless romantic believes that they have found the one, everything else in their life goes on the backburner. Since they get invested so quickly, spending all their time with their partner, it can lead to some co-dependent tendencies.

How do you deal with being a hopeless romantic? 

If we’ve painted a less-than-pretty picture of your personality, we apologize, as we promise we’re not here to crush your dreams!

However, it’s important to be aware of the downsides of being so hopelessly in love with love itself. This outlook can leave you blindsided by breakups and naive to the negative sides of dating. 

While fairytales usually end when you find your true love, leaving out the reality of relationships on the other side — it isn’t all smooth sailing once the credits roll! If you’re sick of feeling the sting of heartbreaks far too often, and feel like your romantic ideals are foiling you at every turn, we’re here to help! 

Instead of being a hopeless romantic, we’d recommend trading this ethos in for a slightly more realistic version — how about being a hopeful romantic? 

While it’s okay to still dream about your prince (or princess!) charming, these daydreams should come with a few caveats. 

  1. Setting relationship expectations and dealbreakers is the best practice for healthy relationships, but these should be realistic and fair to your partner. If you expect them to deliver you roses on a silver platter every day… remember that you’re not in a Hollywood movie set! 

  2. Set boundaries in your relationship to preserve your mental health and wellness, making it easier to fall into the trap of obsession, fixation, and infatuation (often for the wrong person!) 

  3. Focus on yourself instead of expecting your partner to complete you, or that your love story should be the main focus of your life. This can help prevent you from deprioritizing your own needs for the sake of a relationship. 

  4. Consider therapy to set more realistic ideals for your relationships. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the fairytale, or to understand that social media relationships aren’t as great as they seem — and that’s okay! Seeking help from a professional can help you get on a healthier path in your love life, with no more ‘hopeless’ tendencies corrupting your own story. 

Can a hopeless romantic find true love?

Absolutely they can!

Even though we advocate for healthy relationship patterns, it doesn’t mean that we disregard the universal desire for true love. 

We love love too, but no one should be expected to complete you — we think you’re a pretty great person by yourself too! Get into the habit of self-care, focus on your individual pursuits, and you’ll be surprised by the kind of energy you attract. 

Frequently Asked Questions

  • Do hopeless romantics fall in love easily?

    Hopeless romantics are known for falling head over heels in love, as they might see their fairytale ending in the eyes of every first date. Since they wear their heart on their sleeve, they can fall in love very easily — not always with the right people.
  • Does a hopeless romantic believe in love at first sight?

    Ah, love at first sight — the idea that you fall in love with someone upon laying eyes on them for the very first time. This romantic ideal is the perfect fairytale fodder for the hopeless romantics amongst us, with many people secretly believing that love at first sight really does exist… And, who are we to crush their dreams?
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