America's Sex Disconnect: Energy Crisis & Communication Breakdown Fuelling Intimacy Gap For Couples

• The Desire Disconnect: 59% of couples describe themselves as mismatched when it comes to intimacy, with one partner desiring sex more than the other.
• Energy Crisis in the Bedroom: Differing energy levels or sleep schedules (55%) and stress or mental health concerns (52%) far outrank other factors as the top obstacles.
• The Communication Contradiction: While 67% of people report feeling "very comfortable" discussing sex with their partners, actions tell a different story—nearly half (43%) only discuss sexual needs when specific issues arise, and a concerning one in five (20%) rarely or never have these conversations at all.
• Parenthood Impact: Having children is another significant factor—with 45% saying their frequency of sexual intimacy decreased significantly after becoming parents. 

NEW YORK – May 2025 – While 94% of those in relationships would like to have sex at least once a week, only 62% are achieving this frequency. That’s the verdict of a comprehensive new relationship study by couples app Paired, which has uncovered significant disconnects in sexual intimacy, communication patterns, and lifestyle challenges affecting today's couples.

"This research highlights what we've long observed - that physical intimacy challenges are often rooted in practical everyday issues rather than a lack of desire," says Aly Bullock, Head of Relationships at Paired. "Between mismatched schedules, stress, and parenting demands, couples are facing real barriers to connection. The good news is that simply opening up these conversations can be the first step toward better understanding and fulfillment."

The Desire Disconnect

The research reveals a striking mismatch in sexual desire and frequency among couples. The majority (59%) of couples describe themselves as mismatched when it comes to sexual desire, with one partner consistently wanting more physical intimacy than the other.

This mismatch isn't trivial—47% of respondents characterize their desire gap as "moderate," typically wanting intimacy a few times more or less per week than their partner. Another 20% report "significant" differences, with one partner desiring daily intimacy while the other prefers monthly or less frequent encounters. These disparities have led to notable dissatisfaction, with almost one in five people (17%) reporting they are "not at all satisfied" with their current level of sexual intimacy.

Energy Crisis in the Bedroom

Contrary to common assumptions, the study found that the primary barriers to sexual intimacy aren't related to attraction or emotional connection. Instead, modern lifestyle factors dominate the challenges couples face. Different energy levels or conflicting sleep schedules (55%) topped the list of intimacy obstacles, followed closely by stress and mental health concerns (52%).

These practical, everyday challenges significantly outranked what many might expect to be primary factors, such as communication problems or emotional disconnection (39%). This highlights how modern life's demands are reshaping intimate relationships, with physiological and psychological factors playing a more significant role than interpersonal dynamics.

"Couples mistakenly attribute intimacy problems to relationship issues when often it's simply about synchronizing schedules," explains Bullock. “Instead of blaming your partner for not sharing your desires, try taking simple steps like looking out for each other’s stress and rest levels.”

The Communication Contradiction

Despite 67% of people claiming they feel "very comfortable" discussing sex with their partners, the study uncovers a troubling pattern of avoidance. Nearly half (43%) only discuss sexual needs when specific issues arise rather than maintaining ongoing communication. Even more concerning, one in five respondents (20%) rarely or never discuss sexual needs with their partners—even when such conversations could benefit their relationship.

This contradiction between perceived communication comfort and actual communication practice suggests many couples may be overestimating how effectively they're addressing intimate topics, potentially allowing issues to persist unaddressed.

"We're facing serious challenges around how we communicate about sex," says Bullock. "We're comfortable with sex on social media and declare ourselves as sex positive publicly, but we struggle with shame and discussions with our partners."

Parenthood Impact

The transition to parenthood represents another significant turning point for couples' intimacy. A substantial 45.2% of respondents reported that their frequency of sexual intimacy decreased significantly after becoming parents. A quarter (25%) noted that their satisfaction with sexual intimacy also declined following parenthood.

The study identified the infant stage (0-12 months) as particularly challenging for maintaining intimacy, suggesting that new parents may benefit from additional support during this critical transition period.

Making Staying in Love Easier

Paired, the #1 couples app backed by relationship experts, helps couples stay in love through personalized tools that improve communication and deepen intimacy. By creating a neutral shared space, Paired helps identify and address real intimacy blockers—whether conflicting schedules, stress, or parenting demands. 

The new journey "Rekindle Your Sex Life for Parents", which is available via the Paired app now, offers practical solutions for couples looking to revitalize intimate connections amid the challenges of parenthood. 

ENDS

Notes to editors 

*Survey of 1500 paired users was conducted in April 2025 

About Paired 

Paired is the #1 couples app designed to help couples stay in love through answering relationship questions, playing couple games, and learning relationship tips.

Backed by experts, Paired provides personalized tools to improve communication, deepen intimacy, and navigate challenges together.

Paired is on a mission to help couples stay in love—and with more than 11.6 million downloads in the US, we’re well on our way. Find out more at https://www.paired.com/ 

About Aly Bullock

Aly Bullock, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Hillsborough, NC, specializing in relationships, couples communication, and strengthening marriages. She is the Head of Relationships at Paired, the #1 app for couples that has helped millions grow closer through daily questions, expert advice, and fun games that improve relationship skills in just minutes each day. Aly is also the creator of @relationshipswithaly, where she shares relationship tips with over 350,000 followers across platforms.

Aly knows first hand how challenging it is to find relationship advice that feels both relatable and attainable, which is why it is her mission to give couples practical, every skills that will actually move the needle in their relationships. When she’s not saving marriages she’s watching Survivor or jumping on the trampoline with her 3 kids.

For more information, please visit paired.com or contact us at press@paired.com.