Just as we learned out to decipher the red flags and how to spot green flags in our prospective partners — there’s another color code to add to the list!
Beige flags are the latest TikTok trend to get us thinking and therapizing our own relationships. While a scroll through your FYP might give you some answers, we’ve got to the bottom of beige flags in our guide.
From cute to questionable quirks, what is your beige flag? And is it problematic to put a label on them? Read on to find out!
Like so many things these days, this modern dating trend was born on TikTok, with the stage between red and green flags finally defined — meet beige flags.
Unlike red flags, this kind of information isn’t a dealbreaker but might make you stop in your tracks and think “Wow, okay!” From the way they order their food to their movie-watching habits, any quirk can be classed as a beige flag.
These idiosyncrasies are not quite ‘icks’, while they might cause you to cringe, these little quirks aren’t anything to worry about in the long run. When you encounter them for the first time these might seem like odd traits, but like many social media trends — you shouldn’t be reading into them too much!
While this TikTok trend isn’t gospel, it can be fun to think about your own beige flags. From your unrivaled ability to listen to Taylor Swift for hours on end, to your unhealthy obsession with the Kardashians — we all have silly little personality traits that make us who we are!
Since beige flags are personal to each couple or individual, it’s harder to pin down some relevant illustrations of this new trend.
Therefore, we turned to our Paired team to unearth some examples of beige flags that might shine some clarity on the subject!
"Some of these flags we laugh at, while others make us cringe. But what's most important to me is that reading my lovely coworkers' flags gives me insight into how they see themselves,” says Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a licensed marriage and family therapist and In-House Expert at Paired.
“Some are a little critical, while others are so loving toward their partners. The biggest part of this trend is the great conversations that can be had with friends about relationship behavior. Sharing about your relationship can help normalize the fact that we all have quirky things we do, and we can feel a deeper sense of connection through these conversations."
“So whether you post about your beige flags or not, use this trend to talk about your relationship openly with a trusted friend.”
While viral trends are simply part of the modern world, it’s important to ask if dissecting your partner’s or your potential partner’s beige flags is a healthy practice.
"The healthiest part of this trend is that it gets people talking about their relationship more,” says Seeger DeGeare.
“Often, people feel like they need to present the best view of their relationship to the world, out of respect for their partner. However, this can also mean feeling isolated in your relationship. Sharing "beige flags" can open up communication and allow friends to provide feedback on how the behavior affects you."
For some TikTok users, it’s just a fun trend to consider when scrolling through dating profiles, while others can use it as an excuse to ignore relationship warning signs.
In this way, the beige flag trend can be problematic as it’s easier to disguise silent red flags as beige, excusing harmful behaviors as nothing more than a viral TikTok. This is why it’s important to be aware of any real warning signs, and refuse to dismiss toxic behavior as a quirk to preserve your relationship.
"If you are now questioning whether your beige flag is cute or toxic, start by thinking about how you feel when the behavior is happening,” says Seeger DeGeare.
“This can help you determine if it is painful or humorous."