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60 Relationship-Building Questions

Spark curiosity, open up a conversation, and grow closer than ever before with these questions

The key to creating a lasting connection with your partner is getting to know each other on a deeper level. An easy way to build intimacy in your relationship is by asking each other the type of relationship-building questions that spark curiosity and open up a conversation. 

Whether your relationship is still in the honeymoon phase or you’ve been fully committed to each other for a decade, a healthy relationship requires what experts call ‘self-disclosure’ — essentially, getting to know each other better.

Psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron’s research on interpersonal closeness shows that partners who are both able to share intimate details with each other have greater trust and intimacy. 

Below are 60 relationship-building questions that will help you (re)connect with your partner and grow closer than ever before. 

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Relationship-building questions for couples

  1. What do you love most about our relationship? 

  2. What does a successful relationship look like to you? 

  3. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve made in your life?

  4. What are your biggest fears about our relationship?

  5. In which ways do you connect with your partner throughout the day? 

  6. What do you think a healthy relationship should provide for the people in it? 

  7. What’s one relationship rule you have for yourself that you’ll never break? 

  8. What time in your life have you found most challenging and why?

  9. Which couple moments do you treasure the most? 

  10. When do you feel most vulnerable in a relationship? 

  11. How much have you changed since the first date with your partner?

  12. How do you feel about sharing your passwords with your partner?

  13. Do you think you make enough time to have deep conversations? 

  14. Are there any sexual fantasies you’ve been interested in exploring lately? 

  15. Which of your partner’s characteristics is your favorite? 

  16. What’s something you’d love to do that’s outside of your comfort zone? 

  17. How would you like your partner to show you that they value you? 

  18. What do you need from your partner if you’ve had a bad day?

  19. How do you tend to respond when you don’t get the attention you need from your partner? 

  20. How do you show interest and excitement for each other’s accomplishments? 

  21. How do you tend to react to unplanned, negative events?

  22. How can your partner better support you during difficult times?

  23. Which of your partner’s qualities makes you feel the most secure?

  24. What’s one challenge you’ve overcome together? 

  25. What’s your partner’s biggest strength when it comes to dealing with a crisis? 

  26. What’s one thing you can do to make your relationship stronger tomorrow?

  27. In what ways has your relationship enriched your life? 

  28. How do you make time for connection when you’re both busy? 

  29. In which ways are you and your partner compatible? 

  30. What are your top three expectations for your relationship? 

  31. What does a fulfilling sex life look like to you?

  32. What kind of support do you expect from your partner on a daily basis? 

  33. How much communication do you need in your relationship?

  34. What should couples share with one another? 

  35. What shouldn’t couples share?

  36. Do you think happy couples argue? Why or why not?

  37. How much time do you think your partner should spend with friends vs with you? 

  38. What values do you share with your partner? 

  39. What’s one thing you both do to keep the spark alive in your relationship?

  40. How can you both keep showing up for each other?

  41. What’s one way you’d like to spend more quality time together? 

  42. What's the one thing about yourself that you would most like to change?

  43. What makes you grateful for your partner? 

  44. Are you where you pictured you’d be in your life right now?

  45. When you picture the future, what do you see?

  46. What’s your favorite memory together? 

  47. Do you have any personal hobbies you’d like your partner to join in with? Which ones? 

  48. What’s blocking you from having more fun together right now? 

  49. When do you not want or need physical affection? 

  50. How do you like to make up after an argument? 

  51. What’s one topic you find difficult to open up about with your partner? 

  52. When do you feel the most emotionally connected to your partner? 

  53. Are you happy with how often you and your partner talk about your mental health? 

  54. What’s the most productive argument you and your partner have ever had? 

  55. What’s your favorite way for your partner to initiate sex? 

  56. Do you feel like you each have enough alone time? 

  57. What couple goals are you working towards together? 

  58. Which “failure” in life have you learned the most from? 

  59. What are some compromises you’ve each made that have benefited your relationship?

  60. What’s one thing you can each do to become a better partner? 

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