315 Conversation Starters for Couples To Get Talking

How do you start a juicy conversation?
on May 29, 2024
Read time: 10 mins

Whether you’re on your first date or you’ve been together for years, having great conversation starters to hand means you’ll always have something to talk about. 

Relationship conversation starters don’t have to be too serious, and when you first meet you may want to concentrate on something fun and flirty — but getting to the deep questions will mean a better connection and give you a glimpse into how your partner looks at life and if you both have the same core values or aspirations. 

We’ve put together a range of conversation topics for couples — whether you’ve just started dating or you’ve been happily married for years — to help you get to know your partner better and deepen your bond.

How can you start a conversation with your partner?

Sparking a meaningful conversation can sometimes be intimidating, so you must make sure you both feel comfortable chatting!

So try and pick a time when you’re both relaxed and ready to open up. So don’t try and dive into it when you’ve both come in from work. For example, walking and talking is actually a great time to have intimate conversations with your significant other, as you're not directly looking at each other. 

How to start a romantic chat?

Sparking a conversation about your relationship can actually be tough, especially when you have so much day-to-day stuff to chat about!

However, even though daily communication about picking up the kids, or what’s on the menu for dinner is important — specifically talking about your relationship and your future together is intrinsic to your relationship help. 

If you feel nervous about asking deeply personal questions, you can also use the Paired app for couples to open up and learn more about your partner in a less intimidating way!

What are some conversation starters for couples?

No matter what you want to chat about, there are so many ways to spark the kind of meaningful conversations you’re looking for!

It doesn’t have to feel like an inquisition or a quiz, these conversation starters are a great way to break out of your day-to-day and dive deeper into your partner. 

Deep conversation starters for couples 

Deep or intimate conversation starters are a great way to feel closer to your partner. Couples who open up regularly to each other and have deep conversations tend to report greater relationship satisfaction as a result.

  1. Do you want children one day? If so, why?

  2. How do you think you’ve changed in the last 10 years?

  3. Have you read a book that has changed the way you think about life?

  4. What’s the one thing you value about our relationship most?

  5. What would you say were the ingredients of a healthy relationship?

  6. What’s your form of self-care?

  7. What would you say your biggest insecurity is?

  8. If we were having issues in our relationship, who would you ask for help?

  9. Why did you finish your last relationship?

  10. What do you need before you fully trust someone?

  11. What’s your favorite thing to do by yourself? 

  12. What is your perfect self-care day? 

  13. Do you know what my deal breakers are?

  14. What’s the biggest mistake that you have ever made? 

  15. Do you think we’re introverts and extroverts? 

  16. What’s one thing your parents said to you that stuck with you for the rest of your life?

  17. What are your core values, and how do they influence your decisions?

  18. How do you handle stress and what helps you decompress?

  19. What’s a personal goal you’re currently working towards, and why is it important to you?

  20. What do you think is the biggest challenge we've faced as a couple, and how did we overcome it?

  21. How do you define love, and has your definition changed over time?

  22. What’s a belief or value you hold that you think others might not understand?

  23. What childhood experience has had the biggest impact on who you are today?

  24. How do you envision our life together in 10 years?

  25. What’s a fear you have that you’ve never shared with anyone?

  26. How do you express love and affection?

  27. What’s the most difficult decision you’ve ever had to make?

  28. What does forgiveness mean to you, and how easy or difficult is it for you to forgive?

  29. What role does spirituality or religion play in your life?

  30. What’s a life lesson you’ve learned the hard way?

  31. How do you handle conflict in a relationship, and what do you think is the best way to resolve it?

  32. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the chance to do yet?

  33. How do you define success, both personally and professionally?

  34. What’s a cause or issue you’re passionate about, and why?

  35. How important is it for you to maintain your individuality in a relationship?

  36. What’s an experience that fundamentally changed your outlook on life?

  37. How do you show gratitude in your daily life?

  38. What qualities do you admire most in other people?

  39. What’s a memory from our relationship that you cherish the most?

  40. What’s a dream you have for our future that you haven’t shared with me yet?

Fun conversation starters for couples

Deep conversations are great for connection, but fun conversation starters are a great way to bring some lighter touches to a conversation —so get those one-liners or funny answers at the ready.

  1. Have you been on any awful dates? Tell me about them.

  2. Would you prefer to come back as a cat or a dog?

  3. Would you rather be famous or have lots of money?

  4. Tell me about a time when you felt your happiest.

  5. What would be your dream vacation and what would you do on it?

  6. Tell me about your most embarrassing moment.

  7. What was your dream career when you were a kid?

  8. Would you rather give up chocolate or ice cream for the next year?

  9. What made you laugh so much in the last month that you couldn’t stop giggling?

  10. What secret conspiracy shall we start together?

  11. If you could have any superpower for a day, what would it be and why?

  12. What's the weirdest food combination you've ever tried and liked?

  13. If you could live in any fictional universe, which one would it be and why?

  14. What's the silliest thing you're secretly good at?

  15. If we could have any animal, real or imaginary, as a pet, what would it be?

  16. What's the funniest prank you've ever played on someone or had played on you?

  17. If you could instantly become a master at any hobby, what would it be?

  18. What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?

  19. If you had to eat only one type of cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?

  20. What's your go-to karaoke song and why?

  21. If we were characters in a sitcom, what would our show's theme song be?

  22. What's the most bizarre talent you have or wish you had?

  23. If you could swap lives with any celebrity for a day, who would it be?

  24. What’s the strangest gift you’ve ever received?

  25. If you could time travel to any event in history just to witness it, what would it be?

  26. What's the most creative excuse you've ever used to get out of something?

  27. If you could create a new ice cream flavor, what would it be?

  28. What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your office or kitchen window?

  29. If you could be a character in any movie, who would you be and why?

  30. What’s the most unusual compliment you’ve ever received?

  31. If we could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would we go?

  32. What’s the funniest or most memorable costume you’ve ever worn?

  33. If you had to describe your life as a movie genre, what would it be?

  34. What’s the best joke you know?

  35. If you could have any job for a week, what would it be and why?

Conversation starters for couples texting

For all couples, keeping the conversation new and fun over text can bring a fresh and exciting side to your relationship regardless of stage. Here are some examples of open-ended questions that will help the conversation flow better. 

  1. Do you have a favorite movie of all time?

  2. What song do you have on loop in your head?

  3. What flavor of ice cream would you say I was?

  4. What initially attracted you to me?

  5. If you won the lottery what would you do first?

  6. Tell me about a recent failure, how did it make you feel?

  7. What makes you feel safe?

  8. Netflix or a book? What’s your go-to in the evening?

  9. What’s your favorite place in the world?

  10. Who’s your best friend, and why?

  11. What's the most interesting thing that you've learned recently?

  12. If you could have dinner with anyone (alive or dead), who would it be and why?

  13. Describe your perfect weekend. (Let’s see if I can make it happen!) 

  14. Have you added anything to your bucket list? 

  15. If you could be any fictional character for a day, who would you be and why?

  16. What's a random fact about yourself that you think I don't know?

  17. If we could live in any era, which one would you choose?

  18. What's your favorite memory of us so far?

  19. If you could instantly become an expert in anything, what would it be?

  20. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

  21. If you had to describe your current mood in three words, what would it be?

  22. What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?

  23. If our life together were a book, what would the title be?

  24. What’s your favorite way to relax after a long day?

  25. If you could swap lives with anyone for a day, who would it be and why?

  26. What's the most unusual food you've ever tried?

  27. What’s your favorite pet’s name? 

  28. What’s a skill you wish you had learned when you were younger?

  29. What’s the last book you read that you couldn’t put down?

  30. If you steal anyone’s home decor, what would it be?

  31. What's your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

  32. What holiday would you like to relive? 

  33. What's your favorite holiday tradition?

  34. Can you come up with a personal theme song? 

  35. Tell me a funny story!

Romantic conversation starters 

If you’re looking for romantic conversation starters then you’ll have to go a little deeper and get to know each other. Psychologist Dr.John Gottman says the more you know about each other's “inner worlds” the more stable your relationship becomes.

  1. Tell me how you knew you were in love with me.

  2. Where would you take me on a date if money was no object?

  3. Would you want a small or big wedding?

  4. When do you think the right time to get married is?

  5. Do you think we all have a soul mate? Do you think you’ve met yours?

  6. When we don’t see each other for a while what do you miss about me?

  7. What was the first thing you liked about me?

  8. What patterns of conflict did you learn from your parents?

  9. How can I understand you better?

  10. How do you show your love?

  11. What’s your favorite thing about being in a relationship? 

  12. Do you know my love language? 

  13. What’s the biggest mistake you’ve ever made in a past relationship? 

  14. Describe your perfect day together. 

  15. How would you want to spend the rest of your life if there were no limits? 

Random conversation starters for couples

Whether you are delving into your partner's daydreams or real-life dreams and wishes, you’ll be connecting on a whole different level with these random conversation starters.

  1. Is there anything you wish you could be an expert at?

  2. What motivates you, personally and professionally?

  3. What would you do if you won the lottery?

  4. What do you daydream most about?

  5. If you could spend a night with a celebrity, without any repercussions, who would you choose?

  6. When have you been your happiest — on holiday or out with friends?

  7. What makes you like someone?

  8. Would you rather dance all night or go for a lavish meal?

  9. Tell me one thing about your appearance you like and why.

  10. What’s a new hobby you’d like to start?

  11. If you could watch any TV show for the first time again, what would it be? 

  12. What are your dream road trip plans? 

  13. What do you think of soft-launching someone on social media? 

  14. What is your biggest fear? 

  15. What’s the craziest thing that you have ever done? 

Conversation starters for new couples

When you’ve just started dating it's important to bring some fun into your relationship but also have some more meaningful questions mixed in, so you can get to know each other on different levels.

  1. Where did you grow up — did you like it?

  2. Are you closer to your mom or dad?

  3. When was your last relationship and how did it end?

  4. Have you ever embarrassed yourself on a date?

  5. What are you looking for in a partner?

  6. Tell me about one of your favorite childhood memories.

  7. What’s your strongest opinion?

  8. What do you think your best quality is?

  9. How do you like to communicate with someone you’re dating?

  10. What’s the nicest thing you’ve done for a date?

  11. What’s the nicest thing you’ve done for a date?

  12. What’s your favorite way to spend a rainy day? 

  13. Do you have any pet peeves?

  14. Which family member do you most look up to? And why? 

  15. What are your hobbies or interests outside of work?

  16. What’s your favorite type of cuisine or dish?

  17. If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

  18. Do you have any hidden talents or skills?

  19. What’s a movie or TV show you can watch over and over again?

  20. What’s the best book you’ve ever read and why?

  21. Do you have a favorite season of the year? Why?

  22. What’s a tradition or holiday you love celebrating?

  23. If you could have dinner with any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?

  24. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?

  25. What’s one thing you’re passionate about?

  26. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?

  27. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

  28. Do you have any nicknames? How did you get them?

  29. What’s a skill you’d love to learn or improve?

  30. What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day?

  31. Do you have a favorite quote or motto that you live by?

  32. What’s something you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?

  33. What’s your favorite way to stay active or exercise?

  34. What’s a memorable trip or vacation you’ve taken?

  35. How do you typically spend your weekends?

  36. What’s your go-to comfort food?

  37. Do you prefer planning or being spontaneous?

  38. What’s your favorite childhood book or story?

  39. What’s a goal you’re currently working towards?

  40. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what would you want to bring?

Conversation starters for married couples

Even when you’re married there’s still room for improvement and communication. A study by the University of Virginia reported that couples who sit down and spend time together at least once a week are likely to enjoy higher-quality relationships and lower divorce rates.

  1. What’s the one thing you think we can improve on when it comes to our relationship?

  2. How can I help you achieve your goals over the next few months?

  3. What do you like most about married life?

  4. Do you have any favorite memories from our wedding day?

  5. Are you happy with your career?

  6. What adventure shall we plan next?

  7. Tell me about the weirdest dream you had recently.

  8. Where would you like to be in five years, professionally and personally?

  9. What’s on your bucket list that we haven’t ticked off yet?

  10. How can I show you how much I appreciate you?

  11. What do you think makes a successful relationship?

  12. How do you think we can best look after each other’s wellness?

  13. What’s something new you’d like us to try together this year?

  14. How do you feel about the way we handle conflict and what can we do to improve it?

  15. What’s your favorite way to spend a quiet evening at home with me?

  16. What’s a new hobby or activity you’d like us to explore together?

  17. What do you think is our strongest quality as a couple?

  18. How do you envision our retirement years?

  19. What’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever done for you?

  20. How can we create more meaningful traditions as a couple?

  21. What’s your favorite meal we’ve cooked together?

  22. What’s a challenge we’ve faced together that you think made us stronger?

  23. How do you feel about our current work-life balance and what changes would you like to see?

  24. What’s your favorite way to receive affection and love?

  25. How do you think our relationship has evolved since we first got married?

  26. What’s a place you’ve always wanted to travel to with me?

  27. What’s something you appreciate about our daily routines?

  28. How can we better support each other’s personal growth?

  29. What’s a dream or goal you have for us as a couple?

  30. What’s a story from our past that always makes you smile?

  31. How do you feel about the way we divide household responsibilities?

  32. What’s a fun date idea you’ve always wanted to try?

  33. How do you feel we can better manage stress as a team?

  34. What’s something you’ve learned from me since we’ve been married?

  35. What’s a quality in me that you admire and why?

Date night conversation starters

Date nights are the perfect chance to connect with your partner and have a relationship check-in in a fun, relaxed environment. Make sure there are no distractions so you can connect on a deeper level with each other. 

  1. Tell me about the last time you cried.

  2. What are three things you couldn’t live without?

  3. If you knew you were going to die tomorrow what would you do today?

  4. Imagine you could start your dream career tomorrow — what would it be?

  5. Tell me your life story in 10 minutes.

  6. Who do you look up to in your family the most?

  7. If you could be a fictional character, which one would you be?

  8. Who did you have a crush on in high school?

  9. What would you want to be able to cook that you find impossible?

  10. What famous person would you love to meet?

  11. What’s the best meal you’ve ever had, and what made it so memorable?

  12. If you could have a superpower for a day, what would it be and how would you use it?

  13. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever visited?

  14. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

  15. What’s the most adventurous thing you’d like to do together?

  16. What’s your favorite way to spend time with me?

  17. What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell me but haven’t yet?

  18. What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about yourself recently?

  19. If you could create a new holiday, what would it celebrate and how would people observe it?

  20. What’s the most thoughtful thing someone has done for you?

Juicy conversation starters for couples

Being honest and open about sex with your partner is essential — not just for your sex life, but for your overall relationship, too. One study found that couples who were open about sex with each other and experimented with new positions reported higher sexual satisfaction.

  1. When’s your favorite time of the day to have sex?

  2. What position would you like to explore, that we haven’t previously?

  3. What part of your body do you think is sexiest?

  4. What part of my body do you think is the sexiest? Why?

  5. If you knew we wouldn’t get caught where would you like to have sex with me?

  6. Is there anything I can do that turns you on?

  7. Do you like to be in control in the bedroom?

  8. What sort of sexy texts turn you on?

  9. Have you ever had a one-night stand?

  10. What do you like most about my body?

  11. What’s your favorite part of foreplay? 

  12. What’s the sexiest thing that I do in my everyday life? 

  13. Do you remember the most embarrassing thing that’s happened in the bedroom?

  14. What’s a fantasy you’ve had that you’ve never shared with anyone?

  15. How do you feel about incorporating toys into our sex life?

  16. What type of lingerie or outfit do you find most alluring?

  17. If we were to watch an erotic film together, what kind of scene would you want to see?

  18. Is there a particular type of touch or massage that really turns you on?

  19. How do you feel about trying role-play in the bedroom?

  20. What’s the most daring place you’ve ever had sex or want to try?

  21. How do you feel about experimenting with light bondage or restraints?

  22. What’s a sexy fantasy you have about us in the future?

  23. Do you enjoy talking dirty, and what kinds of things would you like to hear?

  24. What’s something new you’ve always wanted to try with me but haven’t yet?

  25. How do you feel about sharing our sexual fantasies and desires more openly?

  26. What’s the most memorable sexual experience we’ve had together?

  27. How do you feel about morning sex versus evening sex?

  28. What’s a way I can make you feel more desired and appreciated sexually?

  29. If we were to set up a romantic and seductive evening, what elements would you want to include?

  30. How do you feel about trying different locations within our home for sex?

Conversation starters for long-distance couples

Want to feel closer to your partner, even if you’re miles away? Here are some questions to ask your partner on your next FaceTime chat.

  1. What’s the last thing you think about before you fall asleep?

  2. Is there a movie that reminds me of you? Why?

  3. Would you rather never be able to FaceTime me or never be able to text me again?

  4. Do you think I’ve changed since we started dating?

  5. Where would you like to be with me right now?

  6. Is there a place you’ve always wanted to visit? Why haven’t you gone yet?

  7. What’s the first thing you’ll do when you see me next?

  8. Is there anything you’d like to achieve in the next year?

  9. Can I do or say anything to help you feel more secure in our relationship?

  10. What do you value the most in friendships?

  11. What place do you visit when you miss me? 

  12. What aspect of our daily life together do you miss the most? 

  13. If we could both move anywhere in the world and be together, where would you want to move? 

  14. Which superpower would you prefer to have — teleporting or time travel? (Both make it easier to be together!) 

  15. Where should we go on holiday together next? Can we start planning? 

Spicy conversation starters for couples 

Do you want to drop some hints that you want to spice things up? If you’re looking to dive into a few saucier subjects (and can’t wait for them to reply to your latest Paired notification), these are the spicy topics you need to work into the convo! 

  1. If you could relive one romantic moment we've had, which one would it be and why?

  2. What is one fantasy you've always wanted to explore with me?

  3. Describe in detail the most memorable kiss we've shared. What made it unforgettable?

  4. What's something you've always wanted to try in the bedroom but haven't told me yet?

  5. If we could go on a spontaneous getaway right now, where would we go and what would we do?

  6. What do you think is my most irresistible quality? What about me turns you on the most?

  7. How do you imagine our ideal date night? Describe every detail from start to finish.

  8. What's a sexy secret about you that you haven’t shared with me yet?

  9. If you could have me all to yourself for an entire day, what would our day look like?

  10. Tell me about a dream or fantasy you've had about us. How did it make you feel?

  11. What's the naughtiest thing you've ever done and would you do it again with me?

  12. If we were to role-play for a night, who would you want to be and why?

  13. What song or type of music puts you in the mood and why?

  14. Describe a moment when you felt the most connected to me physically and emotionally.

  15. What's one thing I do that drives you wild and why?

  16. How do you feel about initiating sex, and what can I do to make it easier or more exciting for you?

  17. What’s the most erotic book or story you’ve ever read, and what made it so?

  18. How do you feel about slow, sensual sex versus more passionate, intense encounters?

  19. What’s a sexual adventure you’d love to go on with me?

  20. How do you feel about experimenting with different types of kisses and touches to explore what we both enjoy?

Unique conversation starters for couples 

When it comes to meaningful conversations, there are so many avenues for couples to go down! If you’re looking to get a little deeper or dive into something different, these are some unique conversation starters for you to try. 

  1. If we could invent a new holiday together, what would it be called and how would we celebrate it?

  2. What’s the most bizarre dream you’ve ever had about us?

  3. If our relationship were a movie, what genre would it be and what would be the plot twist?

  4. If you could give me a superpower for a day, what would it be and why?

  5. What’s one unusual place you’d love for us to visit together and why?

  6. If we could time travel to any moment in history as a couple, where and when would we go?

  7. What’s a hobby or activity you’d love for us to try together that we’ve never done before?

  8. If you had to describe our relationship using three fictional characters, who would they be and why?

  9. What’s the quirkiest habit you’ve noticed about me that you secretly love?

  10. If we were both animals, what kind of animals would we be and how would our relationship dynamics change?

  11. What’s a book or movie that perfectly captures the essence of our relationship?

  12. If we had our own secret language, what would be the first word we’d create and what would it mean?

  13. What’s a unique tradition or ritual you’d love for us to start as a couple?

  14. If we were to host a themed dinner party, what theme would you choose and why?

  15. What’s one adventure you dream of us embarking on that’s out of our comfort zone?

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