Best 170 Relationship Questions for Couples

Ask each other these questions to get to know each other better and bring you closer
on May 31, 2024
Read time: 10 mins

No matter how long you’ve been together, you can always get to know your partner on a deeper level by asking the right relationship questions. Staying curious and showing interest in one another is one of the best ways to keep your relationship happy and healthy.

American psychologist, researcher, and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman found that couples who remain curious about each other and stay positive about their relationship are more likely to overcome life’s challenges. He also found that how well partners know each other helps them stay connected, have more stable relationships, and have stronger intimacy. 

We put together the best relationship questions to ask your significant other — whether you’re in a new relationship or you’ve been together for a decade — to get to know each other better and bring you closer. 

What are some good relationship questions?

No matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always something more to learn about your loved one. 

Relationships are all about building emotional intimacy, and sometimes your daily routine can get in the way of asking those more serious relationship questions. Use your next date night as an opportunity to set the mood and start an in-depth and intimate conversation with your loved one!

Even though you’re asking important relationship questions, it doesn’t need to feel like a quiz night! Enjoy learning more about your partner, and explore your emotional connection with these relationship questions. 

Deep relationship questions 

  1. How can your partner help support you during difficult times? 

  2. Which of your partner’s qualities makes you feel most secure?

  3. What’s one challenge we’ve overcome together?

  4. What’s one thing we can do today to make our relationship stronger tomorrow?

  5. In what way has our relationship enhanced your life?

  6. When have you felt most vulnerable with your partner?

  7. What’s your biggest relationship fear?

  8. How do you handle setbacks in pursuing your dreams?

  9. What dreams have you put on hold and why?

  10. Which aspect of our relationship would you most like to work on?

  11. When has your partner shown you they have your best interest at heart?

  12. What do you find hardest about being away from your partner?

  13. When was the last time we took a risk together? Did it pay off?

  14. What makes you feel most at peace in our relationship?

  15. What are your favorite three topics to talk about with me?

  16. Name three things that should be shared in a healthy relationship…

  17. What is more important in a relationship, intimacy or friendship?

  18. What have past arguments taught you about your partner? 

  19. What does trust mean to you in our relationship?

  20. What is your most impactful childhood memory? 

  21. Can you recall a moment where you felt completely trusted?

  22. Do you believe in the concept of soulmates? 

  23. What does unconditional support look like in our relationship?

  24. How do we handle each other's vulnerabilities?

  25. Can you share a time when you felt deeply supported by me?

  26. What are your thoughts on having separate hobbies or interests?

  27. How do you define boundaries in a relationship?

  28. What conflict resolution strategies work best for us?

  29. How can we deepen our emotional connection?

  30. How important is forgiveness in our relationship?

  31. What do you think is the best way to look after your mental health? 

  32. In what ways do we complement each other's personalities?

  33. How do you define emotional intelligence in a relationship?

  34. What steps can we take to become more empathetic towards each other?

  35. What new things about me are you still curious to discover?

  36. How do you envision our relationship evolving in the next ten years?

  37. What legacy do you want us to build together?

  38. Would it bother you if I opened up to you about past trauma? 

  39. Do you believe that we were destined to be together? 

  40. What do you think will be the biggest challenges in our future together? 

Intimate relationship questions 

  1. What kind of physical intimacy would you like more of?

  2. What's your favorite sexual memory of you and your partner?

  3. If you could have sex anywhere, where would you choose?

  4. What is your biggest turn-on?

  5. What’s your biggest turn-off?

  6. What would make our sex life better?

  7. Do you still have a crush on me? What do you think that means? 

  8. How do you feel about using sex toys in our relationship? 

  9. How do you feel about sex without achieving climax? 

  10. How do you feel about PDA?

  11. In what ways can we keep the romance alive?

  12. Have you ever faked an orgasm?

  13. What new things would you like to try in the bedroom?

  14. How important is foreplay to you?

  15. What role does fantasy play in your sexual desires?

  16. How do you feel about role-playing?

  17. What type of lingerie or clothing do you find sexiest?

  18. How do you feel about dirty talk during sex?

  19. Is there a particular scent or perfume that turns you on?

  20. What’s your favorite way to be seduced?

  21. How do you feel about watching adult movies together?

  22. Do you have any sexual dreams or fantasies involving me?

  23. How do you feel about spontaneous sex versus planned sex?

  24. Is there a particular song or type of music that gets you in the mood?

  25. What’s the sexiest text message you’ve ever received from me?

  26. How do you feel about scheduling sex to ensure we stay connected?

  27. What’s the most erotic book or story you’ve ever read?

  28. How do you feel about sexting when we’re apart?

  29. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to do in bed but haven’t told me?

  30. How do you feel about incorporating food into our sexual play?

  31. What’s your favorite way for me to initiate sex?

  32. How do you feel about having sex in front of a mirror?

  33. Is there a specific outfit you’d love to see me in during sex?

  34. How do you feel about mutual masturbation?

  35. What’s your favorite type of kiss during foreplay?

  36. How do you feel about experimenting with different sexual positions?

  37. What’s one place you’d love to be kissed that isn’t typically thought of as an erogenous zone?

  38. How do you feel about slow, sensual sex compared to fast, passionate sex?

  39. What’s the most memorable thing I’ve ever whispered in your ear during sex?

  40. How do you feel about us setting sexual goals together? 

Fun relationship questions 

  1. What are three things you couldn't live without?

  2. What kind of gifts do you like?

  3. What would the title be if you were writing a book about our relationship?

  4. What type of activities do you wish we had more time for as a couple?

  5. What’s your favorite movie to watch when you need comfort? 

  6. If you could meet any famous person who would it be?

  7. What board game makes you the most competitive?  

  8. What do you think is the best superpower? 

  9. Do you have any pet peeves? Have I ever done anything of them? 

  10. What hobby have you always wanted to try but haven't yet?

  11. What does a perfect day off look like for you?

  12. What kind of vacations or getaways do you enjoy the most?

  13. What's the most adventurous thing you've ever done?

  14. What kind of adventures excite you the most?

  15. What cultural festivals or events would you like to attend together?

  16. What's a dream you've had since childhood?

  17. What's your favorite memory that we've shared together?

  18. How can we create more meaningful experiences as a couple?

  19. If we could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you want to go?

  20. What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to us?

  21. If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be?

  22. What's your favorite way to spend a rainy day?

  23. What's the best prank you've ever pulled or been a part of?

  24. If we were to start a band, what would our band name be?

  25. What's your go-to karaoke song?

  26. What's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done?

  27. If you could relive any day of your life, which day would it be and why?

  28. What's your favorite thing to do on a lazy Sunday?

  29. What's a skill you have that you're secretly proud of?

  30. If you could be a contestant on any game show, which one would you choose?

  31. What's the most interesting fact you know?

  32. If you could transform into any animal for a day, which one would you choose and why?

  33. What's your favorite childhood memory?

  34. If you could instantly become an expert in something, what would it be?

  35. What's your favorite ice cream flavor and why?

  36. What's the best meal you've ever had?

  37. If we had a themed costume party, what theme would you choose?

  38. What's your favorite way to unwind after a long day?

  39. If you could swap lives with anyone for a day, who would it be and why?

  40. What's one quirky habit you have that I might not know about?

Good relationship questions 

  1. What’s your favorite thing about our relationship?

  2. What’s your favorite memory as a couple?

  3. What drew you to your partner initially?

  4. In what ways do you think we’re most compatible?

  5. How important is affection to you?

  6. What do you think being a good partner means?

  7. What goals could we work towards, together? 

  8. How do you like to make up after a fight?

  9. Do you know what my love language is? How do you meet those needs? 

  10. What is the most important thing about making a long-term relationship work? 

  11. How do you think we've grown individually since being together?

  12. In what ways can we support each other's personal development?

  13. What personal qualities would you like to develop?

  14. How can we build stronger trust between us?

  15. How do you feel about volunteering or participating in community events?

  16. What social issues do you find most pressing?

  17. How can we encourage each other to step out of our comfort zones?

  18. How do you balance personal space with time spent together?

  19. How do we typically handle disagreements in our relationship?

  20. What personal achievements are you most proud of?

  21. How can we support each other's career goals?

  22. How do our individual values align with each other?

  23. What are your thoughts on work-life balance in our relationship?

  24. How do we celebrate each other's successes?

  25. How do you prefer to be cared for when you're not feeling well?

  26. How can we better communicate our needs and desires?

  27. What's something you feel you can't express, and how can I help?

  28. How has our communication evolved since we've been together?

  29. What communication barriers do we need to work on breaking down?

  30. How can we show more appreciation for each other daily?

  31. In what ways can we demonstrate respect for each other's opinions and choices?

  32. What small gestures of appreciation do you value the most?

  33. How can we foster an environment of mutual respect?

  34. How do you like to be thanked or shown appreciation?

  35. How can we better understand each other's emotional needs?

  36. What does patience look like in our day-to-day interactions?

  37. How do we handle changes and unexpected situations in our lives?

  38. What can we do to become more adaptable as a couple?

  39. What are some goals we can set and achieve together?

  40. How do our individual goals align with our shared objectives?

  41. What's a significant goal we've accomplished as a couple?

  42. What are our goals for our relationship in the coming year?

  43. How do we handle it when our goals conflict?

  44. What steps can we take to ensure we're working towards common objectives?

  45. What have you learned about yourself through our relationship?

  46. How do you handle self-doubt, and how can I support you in that?

  47. How can we keep a sense of curiosity alive in our relationship?

  48. What new aspect of your personality would you like me to understand better?

  49. How can we inspire each other to remain open and curious?

  50. What's a question you've never asked me but have always wanted to?

New relationship questions

  1. What do you hope to achieve together in the next year?

  2. What’s something new you’d like to try with your partner?

  3. If you could describe me in only one word, what would it be?

  4. If you could describe yourself in only one word, what would it be?

  5. What is your biggest memory from our first date? 

  6. What was your favorite book as a child? 

  7. What’s your favorite personality trait in a person? 

  8. What do you think about posting each other on social media? 

  9. What are your favorite ways to express love?

  10. What hobbies would you like to explore together?

  11. What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received? 

  12. Are there any activities you'd love to try as a couple?

  13. What’s your idea of a perfect date? 

  14. What is something you've always wanted to learn and why?

  15. How do you feel about sharing personal goals and dreams with each other?

  16. What’s one thing you’ve learned about relationships that you want to apply to ours?

  17. How do you feel about surprises in a relationship?

  18. What’s your favorite way to spend a weekend together?

  19. How important is communication to you in a relationship?

  20. What are your thoughts on celebrating anniversaries or special milestones?

  21. How do you handle stress and how can I support you during stressful times?

  22. What’s a fun fact about yourself that I might not know yet?

  23. How do you envision our relationship evolving over time?

  24. What are some small things that make you feel appreciated?

  25. How do you feel about couple traditions and which ones would you like to start?

  26. What’s your favorite type of music and how does it make you feel?

  27. How important is it for you to maintain individuality within a relationship?

  28. What’s one thing you admire about our relationship so far?

  29. How do you like to celebrate special occasions, such as birthdays or holidays?

  30. What’s your idea of a romantic getaway?

  31. How do you feel about discussing our future together?

  32. What’s one thing you think we can improve on as a couple?

  33. How do you feel about public displays of affection (PDA)?

  34. What are some places you’d love to travel to together?

  35. How do you feel about sharing household responsibilities?

  36. What’s your favorite way to relax and unwind?

  37. How do you like to spend your free time when you’re alone?

  38. What’s your favorite type of cuisine and why?

  39. How do you feel about meeting each other’s families and friends?

  40. What’s one goal you have for our relationship in the coming months?

Funny relationship questions 

  1. Which of our relationship inside jokes do you find the funniest?  

  2. If you woke up in your partner’s body one morning, what's the first thing you’d do?

  3. What's a song that reminds you of our relationship?

  4. If your relationship was a cocktail, what would it be?

  5. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in front of me?

  6. If we were a famous comedy duo, who would we be?

  7. What’s the silliest nickname you’ve ever given me?

  8. If our relationship had a theme song, what would it be?

  9. What’s the weirdest food combination you love that you’re too embarrassed to admit?

  10. If we could only eat one type of cuisine for the rest of our lives, what would it be and why?

  11. What’s the funniest thing I’ve ever said to you?

  12. If we could switch lives with any couple from a TV show or movie, who would we choose?

  13. What’s the most ridiculous outfit you’ve ever seen me wear?

  14. If our relationship were a meme, what would it be?

  15. What’s your favorite funny moment we've shared together?

  16. If you had to compare our relationship to a sitcom, which one would it be?

  17. What’s the craziest dream you’ve ever had about me?

  18. If we were to create a viral TikTok video together, what would it be about?

  19. What’s the funniest habit you’ve noticed about me?

  20. If we could prank one of our friends together, who would it be and what would we do?

  21. What’s the most ridiculous argument we’ve ever had?

  22. If our pet could talk, what do you think it would say about our relationship?

  23. Can you recreate a funny face that I make? 

  24. What’s the funniest superpower you can think of? 

  25. What’s the gift I’ve given you that made you laugh the most? 

  26. If we wrote a comedy skit about our relationship, what would be the funniest scene?

  27. What’s the silliest thing we’ve done together that made you laugh uncontrollably?

  28. If we had our own reality show, what would the title be?

  29. What’s the funniest misunderstanding we’ve ever had?

  30. If we could turn any of our silly moments into a cartoon, which one would it be?

  31. What’s the quirkiest thing you’ve ever caught me doing when I thought no one was watching?

  32. If our relationship had a mascot, what would it be?

  33. What’s the most ridiculous dare you’ve ever completed?

  34. If you could add a funny sound effect to any moment in our relationship, what moment would it be?

  35. What’s the funniest nickname you think I could give you?

  36. If we could make a parody of any famous movie with us as the main characters, which movie would it be?

  37. What’s the funniest photo you’ve got of me in your phone? 

  38. If we could recreate any scene from a TV show or movie, which one would it be?

  39. What’s your favorite dance move you’ve ever seen me do? Recreate it. 

  40. If we had to invent a new holiday based on our relationship, what would it be called and how would we celebrate it?

What are hard questions in a relationship? 

Communication is key in any relationship, but whether we like it or not, it can’t all be sunshine and roses. 

Building a strong foundation for a relationship is also about asking the tough questions, to ensure you’re on the same page about the important issues. So, if you’re ready to dive in on the deeper questions, these serious topics are for you! 

Serious relationship questions 

  1. How would you feel if your partner told you a white lie?

  2. What’s a relationship deal-breaker for you? 

  3. What's one bad relationship habit you want to give up?

  4. Is it ever okay to keep secrets from your partner? Why and why not?

  5. If you were having issues in your relationship, who would you ask for help?

  6. Do you believe that marriage is for the rest of your life? 

  7. What are your long-term goals for our relationship?

  8. How do you envision our life together in five years?

  9. What are some shared dreams we should work towards?

  10. How can we create a nurturing environment for personal growth?

  11. How can we balance our career ambitions with our relationship?

  12. In what ways can we support each other's future aspirations?

  13. How do you see us overcoming future challenges together?

  14. How do you envision our families blending?

  15. What role do you see our friends playing in our relationship?

  16. How do we maintain intimacy in our relationship?

  17. How can we support each other's interests?

  18. What are your thoughts on compromise in a relationship?

  19. What are your thoughts on traditions with family and friends?

  20. What kind of family life do you aspire to have?

  21. How can we ensure our careers don't negatively affect our relationship?

  22. How do our cultural backgrounds influence our relationships?

  23. How do we show support for each other during tough times?

  24. What can I do to make you feel more understood?

  25. What are your views on savings and investments?

  26. How can we align our spending habits with our goals?

  27. What are your financial goals for the next five years?

  28. How important is financial security in our relationship?

  29. How do you handle conflicts and what can we do to resolve them constructively?

  30. What are your expectations regarding household responsibilities?

  31. How important is it to you to spend holidays together?

  32. How do you feel about having children and what kind of parent do you want to be?

  33. How do you feel about maintaining relationships with ex-partners?

  34. What are your views on religion or spirituality and its role in our relationship?

  35. How do you handle stress and what can I do to help during stressful times?

  36. What are your expectations regarding communication when we're apart?

  37. How important is physical affection to you in a relationship?

  38. What are your views on loyalty in a relationship?

  39. How do you feel about couples therapy or counseling if we ever need it?

  40. What are your thoughts on shared versus individual bank accounts?

  41. How do you feel about social media in our relationship?

  42. How do you think we should balance quality time with time with friends and family? 

  43. Do you think you handle criticism well? How can we get better at constructive feedback? 

  44. How do you feel about setting long-term health and fitness goals together?

  45. What are your views on personal space and independence in a relationship?

  46. How do you like to prioritize self-care and mental health? 

  47. How do you like to celebrate anniversaries? 

  48. How do you think we could support each other’s professional growth?

  49. What are your thoughts on moving or relocating for work? 

  50. How would you feel about long-distance? 

Relationship questions about the past 

  1. What’s the worst thing an ex would say about you?

  2. What did you learn from a past relationship that has helped our relationship?

  3. What relationship lesson has taken you the longest to learn?

  4. What is your biggest regret from your past relationships? 

  5. Who was your first crush as a child? 

  6. Do you think that it’s okay to still follow your exes on social media? 

  7. How do you feel about how your last relationship ended? 

  8. What was your first impression of me when we met?

  9. How have your past relationships shaped your view on love and commitment?

  10. What’s the nicest thing an ex has ever said about you?

  11. Have you ever been heartbroken? How did you heal from it?

  12. What’s a fond memory you have with a past partner?

  13. How did your parents’ relationship influence your own relationships?

  14. What’s the funniest dating experience you’ve ever had?

  15. Have you ever reconnected with a past love? How did it go?

  16. What’s a relationship mistake you’ve made that you’ve learned from?

  17. How do you think your dating history has prepared you for our relationship?

  18. What’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for a partner?

  19. Have you ever ended a relationship and later regretted it?

  20. What’s a past relationship goal you had that you still hold today?

  21. How did your first serious relationship impact your view on love?

  22. What’s a piece of advice about relationships you wish you had known earlier?

  23. Have you ever dated someone who was very different from you? Do opposites attract? 

  24. What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about love from your past?

  25. Have you ever had an on-again, off-again relationship? What was it like?

  26. What’s a significant turning point in a past relationship?

  27. How did you handle your first breakup?

  28. What’s something you appreciate more about relationships now than you did in the past?

  29. Have you ever had a long-distance relationship? 

  30. What’s a habit or trait you’ve worked on changing because of a past relationship?

  31. What’s a lesson about communication you’ve learned from your past relationships?

  32. Have you ever been in love at first sight? Was it all that you’d thought it would be? 

  33. What’s a memorable date you’ve been on with someone in the past?

  34. How did you navigate conflicts in your past relationships?

  35. What’s a common theme or pattern you’ve noticed in your past relationships?

  36. What’s something your exes would agree was one of your best qualities?

  37. How did you know your past relationship was over?

  38. What’s a misconception you used to have about relationships? 

  39. Have you ever stayed friends with an ex? How did it work out?

  40. What’s a time when you compromised in a past relationship, and was it worth it?

  41. What’s a past relationship experience that made you stronger?

  42. How did your past relationships influence your current relationship expectations?

  43. Do you have any regrets about how you handled a past relationship? 

  44. Do you believe in second chances? Have you ever given one? 

  45. What’s a past relationship habit you’ve consciously changed?

  46. How did you cope with a breakup?

  47. What’s an unexpected lesson about love you’ve learned from your past?

  48. Have you ever felt you were codependent with a partner? 

  49. What’s a relationship dynamic you’ve experienced that you’d never repeat? 

  50. How has your understanding of commitment evolved over time?

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