Paired magazine logo

How Long Should You Wait Before Moving in Together?

Worried you’re moving too fast or too slow? Here’s when you know you’re ready

If you’re in a new relationship, you may have started wondering when do couples move in together and if you’re ready to move in with your new partner. 

Moving in together, whether it’s after 6 months, or two years of being in a relationship, can seem daunting, and you could have lots of questions to ask before moving in together. 

Social media paints a fun picture of moving in with a partner, and if your friends have already made the leap, then you may be keen to jump into it, too. However, it’s important that you and your partner both feel ready to move in together, so communication is key for you to both move forward, and make sure you’re on the same page. 

When do couples usually move in together?

Of course, it’s individual different for every couple, as you go through different experiences together – so try not to compare yourself to friends or family members who have moved in with their partner before you, or at a faster rate. 

However, one study by Stanford University in 2017, called How couples meet and stay together, revealed that half (50%) of American couples moved in together after a year. Others waited a little longer, with up to 70% making the move after two years. Some still took the jump earlier, with 25% of Americans setting up homes with their new partner after just four months.

moving in together.png

How do you know when you’re ready to move in together?

Sometimes it just happens naturally. Maybe you already spend 5 nights a week at your partner's house, and you don’t see the sense in having separate apartments, or you both know that you’re committed enough to make the move work. Maybe COVID fast-tracked your decision?

The most important way to decide whether you’re ready to move in together is to be open and honest with each other. If you’re moving in with each other to solve a problem, such as arguing or money troubles, and this isn’t spoken about in-depth beforehand it will, no doubt, make the situation worse, not better.

If you both, or one of you, has reservations about moving in together, sit down and have a non-judgmental conversation about it. Moving in together could mean changing your lifestyle completely, so talking about it now could ease both your worries, whether it’s about money or how big of a change it could be.

Ready to connect with your partner everyday?

Key considerations before living together

The first factor you should consider is if you can actually live together. In reality, can you both afford it? Do you enjoy each other's company to be under the same roof seven days a week? Can you respect each other boundaries and independence? Moving in together may sound romantic, but reality can set in quite quickly, especially if you don’t trust each other or have very different expectations.

Whether you’re renting or buying, you’ll need to be honest about your finances with your partner – decide on a budget and how you’re splitting the bills every month. Will you take charge of paying the bills, or will they? 

You should also consider each other's lifestyles when moving in together – if your partner loves being sociable, but you’re a homebody, you should talk about compromises on both sides. Spending quality time together, rather than being like ships in the night, is important for all relationships to grow.

Couple doing chores.png

5 questions to ask before moving in together 

In order to know that your partner is on the same page, it's important to communicate about how you both feel. Moving in together is a big step and shouldn’t be done without any thought and deep conversations about it. If you’re unsure about how your partner feels about moving in together, or whether you are both ready, here are 5 questions to ask before it happens. 

  1. How would you like to manage shared spending? Financial questions are important as, if you haven’t already spoken about money, you need to know that you both have similar views, that you’re sharing the financial responsibilities and one of you isn’t spending more than the other.
  2. What are your biggest hopes about living together? When you both have the same expectations – or understanding of each other's expectations – it can lead to fewer disagreements, as you’ve communicated your future relationship goals to each other.
  3. I can be difficult to live with because… Living together can bring special moments, however when you don’t know someone's worst habit, such as leaving towels on the bed or being messy, then you’ll be disappointed or angry when it happens. This question also requires you to reflect on your own “quirks” – we all have them.
  4. How do you think household chores should be split? Chores can be boring to talk about, especially when you’re in the fun bubble of moving in together, but once you’ve decided on how the chores can be split you won’t be arguing about whose responsibility is what.
  5. Do you have worries about moving in together, if so, what? This is a chance for you both to be honest with each other, moving in with a partner is a big change and can be stressful – so take off the rose-tinted glasses and communicate your worries with each other.

Download Paired to take the full “Moving In Together” Question Pack with your partner.

petal decoration

Enjoying this article?

A happier relationship starts here.