The quest to find a life partner is not without its challenges, but when it comes to matters of love — what role does destiny have to play?
When considering your own love story, it’s important to consider the differences between twin flames vs. soulmates, and the outcomes of these relationship dynamics. So if you believe you may have stumbled upon your soulmate, or that you’ve reunited with your twin flame, what does it all mean?
Learn more about the difference between these types of relationships here!
The term soulmate is used to describe someone with whom one has a strong connection and high levels of compatibility, commonly referred to as finding ‘the one’.
If you believe in a soulmate connection, it’s natural to seek out this deep connection in prospective romantic partners. Soulmate relationships are often associated with finding that spark, where fate has brought you both together because that’s what was pre-destined all along.
Romantic soulmates complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses, and feel an undeniable connection from the moment they lay eyes on each other. This union of two different souls as one is a romantic and fulfilling experience, with such a strong emotional connection naturally evolving into a form of unconditional love.
Although the idea of soulmates may seem like a romantic notion, many people in love swear that you don’t believe it’s true — until you find it yourself.
Twin flame relationships also play with the idea of predestined love, with this kind of connection describing a unique and profound bond between two individuals.
This concept of twin flames dictates that one soul was split in two upon entering this world and that these twin souls are destined to find each other again. With signposts along the way to guide you, when you meet your twin flame for the first time, both partners experience an instant and intense connection, as if they knew each other in a past life.
According to this doctrine, when you find your twin flame, it’s not always smooth sailing as your mirror soul reflects your insecurities and traumas back to you. Therefore, twin flame connections often come with conflict, and are defined by their intensity. This process is designed to allow both partners to become the best version of themselves, with a clean slate from which to continue their emotional growth.
Once this spiritual growth is complete, it’s meant to settle into a healthy relationship with two kindred spirits ready to take on the world as a team. Even though this is an intense and often tumultuous experience, it’s all part of the twin flame journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
Due to the intensity of the connection, and the role of pre-destiny, many people often confuse the concept of twin flames with soulmates.
However, the main difference is quite simple. While twin flames are two halves of the same soul, soulmates are considered to be two souls that belong together.
While twin flames are drawn together by a magnetic connection, it doesn’t mean they can’t be pulled apart. For many people, twin flames are meant to provide each other with lessons and learnings, but aren’t necessarily romantically compatible.
On the other hand, soulmates complement every aspect of each other, and once this equilibrium is reached — it’s hard to imagine a world without it!
So in the context of romantic love, which connection leads to the better type of relationship?
While every romantic relationship is different, and everyone knows their own heart when it comes to matters of love. When it comes to the winner, we would have to choose the type of relationship that is healthiest for both participants.
“When we are in a romantic relationship, we invite someone into our lives to enhance and ultimately influence us as we grow and change together,” says Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a licensed marriage and family therapist and In-House Expert at Paired.
“The healthiest relationship is one in which we engage in personal growth, addressing any unhealthy behaviors and insecurities, so that the relationship can thrive.”
“The motivation for growth might come from different places based on how your partner is showing up in the relationship,” says Seeger DeGeare.
“If your partner challenges your patterns of behavior and ways of thinking, it can push you further, even if it creates conflict between the two of you. On the other hand, if your partner is less challenging to your behavior, addressing those patterns will require more internal motivation and drive to show up differently in the world.”
Twin flame relationships offer an intense spiritual connection, with both partners compelling each other to deal with their traumas in order to grow. As a catalyst for self-discovery, it allows you to come to terms with your true self but this process is not without its difficulties.
Similar to a karmic relationship, twin flame unions can be defined by conflict and challenges — taking their toll on the well-being of both partners. As a doctrine, this kind of connection encourages a codependent dynamic that can be very unhealthy and restrictive.
Since it professes that the other person ‘completes’ you, it suggests that you’re not whole without them. Although the idea is romantic in theory, in reality, it could lead to a toxic relationship dynamic that is not sustainable long-term.
“The healthiest relationship is one in which we engage in personal growth, addressing any unhealthy behaviors and insecurities, so that the relationship can thrive,” says Seeger DeGeare.
“The motivation for growth might come from different places based on how your partner is showing up in the relationship. If your partner challenges your patterns of behavior and ways of thinking, it can push you further, even if it creates conflict between the two of you. On the other hand, if your partner is less challenging to your behavior, addressing those patterns will require more internal motivation and drive to show up differently in the world.”
Soulmates, on the other hand, offer a dynamic centered around stability and security. While you can still have that instant connection, it doesn’t require conflict or trauma resolution in order to be fulfilling.
While soulmates may belong together, they don’t need each other to feel complete. This kind of dynamic promotes a healthy and fulfilling relationship, where two individuals choose to come together to bring out the best in each other in a sustainable way.
So while we don’t like picking favorites in matters of love — we will always vote for a dynamic that promotes both happiness and advocates for a healthy partnership!